Saturday 8 May 2010

Henry Louis Mencken - A Book Of Burlesques

Church: A place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to people who will never get there.
Creator: A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh. Three proofs of His humor: democracy, hay fever, any fat woman.
Civilization: A concerted effort to remedy the blunders and check the practical joking of God.
Evil: That which one believes of others. It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
Idealist: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
Theology: An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.
University: A place for elevating sons above the social rank of their fathers. In the great American universities men are ranked as follows: 1. Seducers; 2. Fullbacks; 3. Booze-fighters; 4. Pitchers and Catchers; 5. Poker players; 6. Scholars; 7. Christians.

2 comments:

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